Peeling an onion, dancing alone and a movement you can start.

If this is your first time here let me introduce myself, I’m A.J. Steel and I write songs.  I write them because, maybe you feel this way too, I feel like I’m still ‘working it out.’  

I’m slowly peeling back the layers of this onion only to find there’s more layers I never knew existed.  It’s a journey that’s filled with hurt and hope.  

Sometimes others cause the hurt, sometimes I do myself and the same can be said for the hope and the excitement you feel when you can see a better tomorrow.  At least that’s what I’m writing about for now, in a year, I may be writing for a completely different reason.  I don’t really know, it’s just where I’m at right now.  It’s all part of the ride, life as they say. 

I remember seeing a video of a lone guy dancing on the side of a hill at a festival.  The hill was scattered with other people but this guy was the only one dancing.  Initially people just looked on and smiled.  Then someone else joined in and then another person and another until the whole hillside was filled with people dancing to the music.  This one guy had started a movement.  

I’d like to think these songs are the beginning of a movement, a movement within you.  Where you accept all you are and all you aren’t.   

I remember feeling a little out of sorts at school.  Kind of not in the in crowd but not all the way out either, just floating.  It wasn’t until I started going to an art class on Saturday afternoons that I began to find what felt like my kind.  

The artist would walk around the room instructing us on how to proportion the page and the subject and even though my drawings were not great, he always managed to find something that looked reasonable and tell me that there was potential, all with a manner that was non-judging.  He made you feel safe, emotionally safe and that gave way to exploration without boundaries. 

I know, you might be thinking there’s no way you’re going to let the world see the real you.  It’s just too dangerous, too dangerous for you to risk being hurt again like the last time you shared the real you, but as it turns out, it’s not about you it’s about them.  

This music is all about expressing who you are.  It’s about the hurt and the hope that comes from taking a chance on what matters most to you.  It’s about leaping into what feels like an emotional abyss and not caring at all what the outcome is.  Building the stamina to be more of the real you each day, the you that’s been hiding from the world. 

Sometimes it works in your favour and sometimes it doesn’t.  All we can do is take the reaction, the event for way it made us feel, for better or worse and move on to greener pastures. 

Thanks for reading.  Thanks for listening.  If you’d like to continue the conversation or just stay in touch please subscribe to my email list.  I write back, all the time, well most of the time.  If I don’t you can always send me an email to say HEY, you said you write back and you haven’t. 

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